Your baby is home: Now what?
There are so many excellent books out there to help get you through the first few months of taking care of your new bundle of joy but honestly after your beautiful baby comes home who has time to read?
Being pregnant was nerve wrecking for me. I thought if only I could hold the baby in my arms and see him/her I would know what to do. HA! Then our child was born and I realized it was so much easier to be pregnant. The first few weeks were tough. No one can prepare you, as a new parent, to survive on such little sleep when caring for a small human. Many moms joke the continuous night wakes to pee toward the end of your pregnancy are your preparation for many, many wakes with your tiny little one. Promise I’m not trying to scare you; you will sleep again and so will your baby.
So grab a sip of coffee and read through your condensed version.
Tips To get you through the first 3 months
1. Newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours.
Someone once told me a newborn’s stomach is the size of their fist. No wonder they eat so frequently. Your sweet baby’s job from the time they enter the world is to eat, sleep, grow and produce dirty diapers. Can you sleep if you’re hungry? Well, neither can your baby.
Your baby will take longer to eat when they’re first born; remember eating and digesting are new to them. Before you know it they’ll be sucking a full bottle down in 5 minutes.
2. Breastfeeding can be hard but you can do this and so can your baby.
Get the name of that breastfeeding consultant you meet in the hospital. I know you may feel as if everything is going perfectly at the hospital and you have everything under control but I can promise you, from experience, there will likely come a night in which your milk comes in and you need someone (a trained someone) to tell you it’s going to be ok and answer the many questions you have. I breastfed 3 children; each one being a very different experience. Get that consultant’s name and number (or ask the pediatrician) and put it in your phone right away.
3. Schedules – Do not exist the first month or 3!
I’m serious! Your job after having a baby is to recuperate from your delivery (and 9 months of carrying your beautiful angel) and take care of your baby with the help of your spouse of course. Do not plan anything big during at least the first month or 2 if you can help it. The two things you can count on during this time are your baby will sleep lots (albeit in short spurts) and you will be tired.
4. Follow an awake schedule for baby
Newborns cannot stay awake long periods of time nor should they. Babies grow while they sleep, hence why they sleep so much. Ok, so I said no schedule but what I really meant was base the schedule on when baby ate or slept last. Feed your angel every 2 to 3 hours and don’t keep them awake more than 45 minutes to an hour at a time. Yes you read that right and are probably shocked right now and think I’m being ridiculous. I wish someone had told me these things when mine were newborns; so much of the crying we see with infants is because they are overtired.
5. Follow the eat, wake, sleep cycle (mantra followed in the book “Babywise”)
Eat Wake Sleep (or EWS) is just as it sounds. Baby should follow a cycle of eating, waketime – which is essentially playtime (or in the case of a newborn, really just a diaper change) and then sleeping. The cycle continues throughout the day.
It is very hard to keep a brand new baby awake for any period of time so go easy on yourself and your baby those first few weeks. However, there’s nothing to stop your from getting into the routine and mindset of EWS from the start.
So what this looks like is when baby wakes, the first thing they should do is eat. The goal? To eliminate any association of needing food to fall asleep, and allow them to build the skills they need to fall asleep independently; not needing to be rocked, nursed or needing to be in your arms to sleep.
*It’s not too late to start the EWS schedule if they’re several weeks or months old already. This trains them as much as you.
6. Make sure your baby is getting full feeds.
Feeding is very soothing and wonderful to them so your goal is to keep them awake long enough to eat.
Tips to ensure full feeds:
-take off their clothes to feed
-tickle baby’s feet
-blow gently on baby’s face
-if breastfeeding, change baby’s diaper after they finish the 1st side, so they start wide awake for 2nd side
7. Swaddle your baby for sleep
Babies are born with a startle reflex. This goes away after about a month or two but it will literally startle your baby awake. Swaddling your little one helps them feel like they did in the womb; warm and snuggly. I recommend investing in three swaddle contraptions or blankets (light fabric like muslin) so if baby pees or poos through the diaper onto the blanket you have backups.
8. Use white noise and blackout shades
White noise helps mimic the sounds of the womb and more importantly blocks out sound of your home (tv, talking, UPS guy ringing the doorbell, dogs barking – you get the picture). My favorite white noise machine is the Hatch but there are many others.
9. Bedtime/nap routines
Your baby is incredibly smart and very early in their life will know who you are from your scent and voice. They also begin to anticipate a routine and understand it’s time to eat, sleep or play. Babies and children thrive on a routine and although they may protest, they love knowing what comes next. (Spend any time around a questioning 3 year old and you’ll see this is true. They constantly ask what’s next?)
What does a nap/bedtime routine look like?
They can differ slightly in that you may add a bath or a little snuggle time to your bedtime routine.
-change diaper and put swaddle on
-read book
-sing a song
-place in bed drowsy